Blue Skies

Above at the blue skies you look,

Away from this chaos a place you seek

A far off place into the land of dreams

Where there are no boundaries and there are no seams

From the depths of despair you find hope..

Sup folks....it's been a while since my last post...and well I'm a lot better than I was that day, for sure. That was probably one of my lowest points during this month....but you know what I was so so so bored that day and so down...that I forced myself to draw again...and then managed to get rid of that stupid ass art block and the sorry state I was in..... So right now I'm drawing regularly again every now and then but I need to learn to be more free with drawing..... My big bro suggested recently that I should restart drawing itself.....starting from a circle....it's what he did to find his own style free...It's just that I need to find myself through the mess that is my drawing right now....and also be able to draw all the random things I feel like drawing. Need to get outta my restrictive comfort zone. But yes, life is good now you know.....I'm working on my short and there's another really cool news too....but I can't share it with anyone yet XD So that's gotten me really inspired and cheered up...and kinda nervous as well...I've never spoken in public ahahaha.... um wait I ain't spoilin it XDD

So yeah if things a looking down, and you're at the lowest point....you'll find hope somehow....my desperation to find something to do helped me get rid of my art block. That was something I hadn't really thought much about before...

At any rate, I just wanted to say...to anyone reading this (tho I dunno if anyone does): Hang in there...things will work out and you'll find a way to be happy. You'll find a way to be yourself. You'll find a way to live. You'll find hope. And inner peace XD

Ahem but I prolly won't feel very good about myself until I finish my short...I feel guilty that I haven't made any shorts in last few years..but there you go..it's a good driving force yeah? It keeps you moving and not stuck in one place..and that's good. Anyway but this short film is like a stepping stone for me...continuation of my journey I guess...journey to AWESOMENESS! XD

P.s - My animation development blog be here: MOVING ON

Anyway Imma run now
Ciao folks
Mony

Meh

What does it take to be happy?

Noodles, candy, inner peace?

How does one attain inner peace?

I don't know

Why do I have to feel so weird all the time?

Why do I walk down memory lane so often

Why can't I just be completely carefree and not bother about anything

Why am I asking all these weird questions?

I'm bored......bored bored bored
Why am I even bored?

Because I feel weird and don't feel like doing anything

I wish that random spark of happiness would come back....somehow....

Ehh

YOU

HEAR THIS

I ain't lettin no CRAPOLA EVER get me down

I'll complete my short film and work hard on my skills and GO TO GOBELINS NEXT YEAR

FOR REALSS

WON'T LET YOU DOWN BIG BRO AND ALL THE OTHER AWESOME PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN SUPPORTING ME ALL THIS TIME

THIS LAME KID....Who they could've easily ignored and disregarded... but you know what?

They didn't. They believed in me when no one else would

and they've been there for me when no one else was

I promise you I'll give it my best, and get there and make you proud

I promise I won't let any negativity or crap people throw at me get me down

and that I'll never lose the light inside of me and give in to darkness

and to myself, I won't let you down either kiddo. We can do this...we've been dreaming of pursuing our dreams for so long...well now it's time to actually pursue them for reals

LET'S DO THIS!! THIS IS A BATTLE WORTH FIGHTING FOR.

Pursuing what you love

I haven't been updating much on my blog these days which kinda sucks but anyway I felt like talking a bit. These days I've finally been focusing on animation for reals and let me tell you it feels awesome! I've always wanted to get back to it and actually learning how it works and what makes an animation tick...it's so cool to understand how it all comes together to make a really cool piece of animation..something that moves as if it lives and breathes...it's truly incredible seeing a bunch of pencil lines or polygons moving as if they're alive, but that's the power of animation. Right now there's all this pressure for me to start studying in university here and it's all the more annoying because I want to study animation and none of the universities even have it as a subject let alone be specialized in it. But I AM studying animation on my own and also with help from my big bro who's like an amaaaazing animator and also my mentor. But my folks don't really get the fact that you don't really need a certificate to work anywhere in this industry. It's really your portfolio that counts.....worst part is they still don't think I'm serious about CG and animation. They think it's a phase.... WTF!  How can something you've loved all your frickin goddamn life be some phase huh?? Geez people....and I'm going to try for Gobelins next year so starting uni here would not only be a waste of money but also a waste of time. I need all the time I can get to hone my animation and drawing skills before applying there...not to mention learn French.

I've tried explaining this to my folks to no avail. My mum just goes nuts at the very idea of me trying to convince her about all this and they don't ever want to listen to me or hear me through. It's so one sided...pretty lame really. And it's not like I'm sitting around, I'm working at the best animation studio in the country, and I think should atleast speak to them about how serious I'm about all this. Sure animation is quite young in my country but it's growing everyday, and along with growing demand the industry grows too. If I weren't working at Ogniroth, I probably would've gone nuts a long time ago...I learn so much there everyday....it's incredible! Seriously like some awesome artist once said it's better to be the worst artist in an awesome studio, than be the best in a lame one....cause the amount of stuff you learn from everyone and the experience you gain is invaluable. Seriously, if you can't afford to study CG or animation in an institution, then well I'd definitely recommend learning from your job. Even if you start working at a small animation/game studio, it'll be a really good learning experience, provided especially that you keep pushing yourself to be the best that you can be... But going to animation school shouldn't be something you want to miss, even if only to meet up with other like minded people and make contacts because that is really important. You could probably do cool projects together with the friends you make there....

Anyway, so where was I....right so there's a lot of pressure from my folks about this uni thing, and me trying to pursue this hasn't been easy. But being under the delusion of following someone else's dream the last couple of years barely gave me any time to pursue the things I love and am passionate about. Which left me feeling incredibly empty, uninspired and just incredibly lame for a good bit of time now. Sure pursuing animation isn't being easy but you know I'd rather fight trying to pursue what I love than sit around and feel lame about pursuing something that's being forced on me. It's really weird when people say oh hey we're supportive of what you're doing but you HAVE to go study some other degree at uni and get amazing grades while you're at it. WOW. As if amazing animation skills are going to fall from the sky and grace me or sth....geeez. It's like tying you up and saying oh hey you can run, didn't say you can't. Pfft.

So home has become kinda weird for more than a year now. Whenever I'm home I'm constantly reminded how other kids from my class are already in uni and doing great and I'm still "sitting around". Obviously working doesn't count as anything. And well they're forcing me to sit for this admission test into this uni. So laaame. But who cares, I'm focusing on my short film and learning basic animation principles and experimenting with random animations...and it's been awesome doing that! There was a time when I'd make random animations on a regular basis and plan on making all these short films and right now doing that again, sure brings back fond memories man...and it's a really awesome feeling, it makes you feel like a kid again...well I'm a kid anyway..but still you get me right.. It sorta nullifies all the negativity around you and fills you with positive energy. It's the best feeling in the world! So even if there's a lotta negativity from certain people, this surge of positive energy is really motivating. Not to mention the support from my awesome friends and siblings, it's really inspiring. I used to have some difficulty animating in fronta everyone but recently I'm getting more and more used to it....because of these animation jams we've been doing at work. Anyway what I wanted to say was that I'm really glad to be pursuing animation for reals again and all I had to do was break out of my negative thoughts and worries about not being good at it, to actually just do it! No one's good at anything from the start...everyone starts somewhere... I mean it's kinda tough to actually start doing something when you keep thinking that you're bad at it and maybe one day you'll get better at it so then you can do it. Well if you never even do it then that one day will never come and you'll always be stuck there. It's like the worst place to get stidk at. It's like my big bro says, if you don't pursue your interests then that's all they'll ever be...just interests. SO I'm glad I got started with animation again after so ling. I got a long longggg way to go but hey I'll do my best and keep at it. 

So I'm going to work super hard for reals and be a better artist and finish my short! I'm hoping to get it done by mid August. I'll do my best, won't let you guys down!! Like srsly! XD

And to anyone who's struggling with trying to pursue what they love....just hang in there and keep working hard! Never ever stop believing, hoping or dreaming. And never stop loving. And always remember to have fun! Because isn't that where it all began?

Hail positivity!

Moony,
Peace out

Meh

Me: Projects manifest themselves right before deadlines...
Big bro: Well that's life...
Me: yeah..
[ Rant ahead, proceed with caution]

So..hello

Been a while since I updated.. But I haven't had internet at home for a while and I was sick with a bad fever for a while earlier this month. And my pc's been acting up. Still I has been working on my short on and off. I'm going to finish up the preproduction stuff by next week hopefully. But anyways I gots a new phone woooooo. And it's an android phone... Whoo finally! It's a Xperia P. Been saving up for this for a while now but my folks surprised me by buying me one as an advanced birthday present. Yayy! So now I can update regularly from ma phone. And use them funky android apps. Buuut more importantly doodle on me phone woooooo : D

Anyway I'll be off now. Be posting more stuff later.